"I got nervous & started thinking about neck bolts"

2008-03-10T20:39:00.000-07:00

A concert in Kuwait seems like a good idea right? Supporting our troops who are fighting for our country with a concert would be something I'd be all for. No one could screw up something as straight forward as a USO concert right?

Wrong.

Great to see that myspace is keeping up its rich tradition of audio/visual torture. Thank you myspace for insulting our troops and the Kuwaiti people with you concert of mediocrity. I'd rather be mustard-gased than see this concert.

Deep Thoughts, by Amir

2008-02-20T09:56:00.001-08:00

Do you think George Washington started brushing his teeth with wood varnish after he got his wooden teeth?

Random Thought

2007-06-01T13:48:00.000-07:00

At my old work, one of my female co-workers was engaged to this rocker guy. He was big guy, but not fat. They type who could easily kick some ass. He had lots of tattoos too. One stuck out to me. It was a pentagram tattooed on the back of his hand.

This leads me to wonder: what if he were to get in a fight and beat up his opponet real good. Then, right before his finishing blow, would he say, "See you in hell," and then punch his opponet in the face with his pentagram fist?

I think that would be cool.

Your good intentions only go so far if you're an idiot

2007-05-22T15:48:00.000-07:00

So I've decided to update my blog regularly again because a classmate (who wasn't in the class I created this blog for) said he was a reader. I was shocked to learn that anyone aside from the people in my class last semester gave half a shit what I thought.

So I begin with this poster that I saw hung up in the Student Union about halfway through the semester.

Translation: Don't go to the Almaden Room at Noon

Okay, seeing as how I come from an Ismalic family, I know the true meaning of Jihad (for those curious, it means 'struggle.') To me, its obvious that the person who created this sign had every intention of educating people about the roots of the word and the fact that it doesn't really mean "Holy War." But even with my background knowledge, this sign sounded questionable. Think about it. If the only meaning of Jihad is the one propagated by the American media, how would this sign come off to you? Would you ask yourself,

"Hmm, I should critically think about the meaning of the word Jihad,"

or might you think,

"Hmm, I better not go to the Almaden room at noon, or I'll get blown the fuck up."

People like this make me lose my faith in humanity.

Apocalypto Sucks

2006-12-17T13:15:00.000-08:00

For those who haven't heard already, this piece of shit opened up at number one in the box office last weekend. It's Mel Gibson's film, Apocalypto. I'm here to say this is the biggest piece of garbage to come out this entire year. I'm so confident that this is true, that I make this claim despite not having seen this movie (and nor do I plan to.)

Gibson, who has starred in an array groundbreaking films including Lethal Weapon, Lethal Weapon 2, Lethal Weapon 3, Lethal Weapon 4, Mad Max, Mad Max 2, and Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, has decided that he's the right one to help depict the suffering of an entire group of people (the Mayans) to the big screen.

Am I the only one who sees a bit of irony in this? Mel Gibson's movie depicting the real life story of an entire group of people being ethnically cleansed, thus establishing a sense of sympathy for the Mayans and their suffering debuts at number one only a few months after Gibson stated in a drunken stupor, "F*****g Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world."

When the Passion of the Christ came out in 2004, there were accusations of anti-semitism from the Jewish community and others, but there was no solid evidence that Gibson was anti-semitic. Others defended Gibson's film by saying it was an accurate depiction of how the death of Christ was described in the Bible. Some, like the creators of South Park, thought that Mel Gibson was just batshit insane.

But Gibson's comments, even though he still denies it, unveiled an inherent anti-semitic train of though he has, which has since been accredited to his father. And although that doesn't not necessarily mean that the purpose of The Passion of the Christ was to build discrimination against the Jewish community, it would be hard to believe that Gibson's upbringing had absolutely no influence in the way the Jewish people were depicted in the film.

Which begs the question (for me at least,) could Mel Gibson's anit-semitism had an influence on his latest film, Apocalypto? Which leads into my theory: Apocalypto isn't really about the suffering the Mayans had to endure as they were taken over by the Spanish; rather, it is a not-so-subtle metaphor for how much Mel Gibson hates the Jews. Furthermore, I theorize that it may even be an illustration of how Mel Gibson would like the tear the heart out of a Jewish man.

Don't see Apocalypto.

Shirley Biagi, Keep Your Day Job

2006-12-12T19:11:00.000-08:00

I just got through reading Chapter 11 on Public Relations in the Textbook, Media/Impact: An Introduction to Mass Media by Shirley Biagi, and upon completion of the reading, I feel that I not only did I not learn anything about public relations that I didn't already know, but I feel that my brain capacity has fell down to the level of Forrest Gump's.

I have to admit, I hadn't even opened the book until today, and after reading one chapter, I wish I hadn't. If I had actually read that entire book, I probably would have had to pull a Cobain and splatter the remnants of my brain on my bedroom wall.

I almost wish Shirley Biagi had down syndrome when she was writing this book. Then at least, she would have an excuse for writing such a retarded book. Instead of a biography, it could say

"Shirley Biagi is a 8 year old girl with down syndrome who wrote this book because her dream is to be a college professor when she grows up. And even though we know that she can never achieve this dream, we wanted to keep hope alive in this brave little girl. Half the proceeds from the sale of this book will go to Shirley and her family while the rest will go to the Special Olympics."

Then at least I could think "Aww, how sweet. Even though I won't read this book, I should buy an extra copy because its for a good cause," instead of thinking what I'm thinking now which is, "Wow, if I were Shirley Biagi's publisher and she showed me this mindless dribble that shes trying to pass off as a textbook, I'd pimp-slap her upside the head."

Now I'm going to go over parts of the chapter, so it doesn't seem like I'm bitching for no reason. You'll get to see the true stupidity of this book first hand.

After the introduction to Chapter 11, we go on to the first four sections which span from pages 220 to 221. Essentially, the only relevant information I got from these four sections is "PR helps shape public opinions and Government uses PR." That's it. There is other information, such as when the first PR firm was started, what the first PR message to the press was, and who the first women in PR were, which is good information to know, if you're a contestant on Jeopardy and one of the categories is "The History of Public Relations."

But if you're like me, a college student who needs to learn about the significance of Public Relations, this information amounts to "Fluff information I might put in a term paper about Public Relations if we needed to stretch the length from 9 1/2 to 10 pages."

If we move on to page 222 and if you haven't already gouged your eyes of due to the stupidity of the first couple pages, we find the section titled "Public Relations at Work," and the subtitle "Financial Public Relations." There is about a third of a page of writing under Financial PR, one sentence of which actually has to do with the subject. The first sentence reads:

"People in financial public relations provide information primarily to business reporters."

The rest of the paragraph is pretty much bulleted quotes from James K. Gentry of the Washington Journalism Review about what qualities makes for good and/or bad Public Relations. Granted they are good, informative quotes, but with the exception of maybe his first quote, none of them have anything to do directly with Financial Public Relations. Rather, they seem as though they are quotes that can apply to PR in general.

It would be similar if I were to say I'm going to write you an informative essay about significant Producers in the music industry and all I had as supporting evidence was quotes from Rick Rubin or Kanye West about how to produce a good record.

Directly after Financial PR on page 223, we see the next subtitle, "Product Public Relations," which begins with the enlightening sentence,

"Product PR uses public relations techniques to sell products and services."

If Biagi was famous, she would be famous for stating such a stupidly redundant fact. This is like having an essay entitled, "Communism in Government" and starting with the line, "Communism in government is using Communistic ideas to help govern and rule a country."

I have to give Biagi credit on the next couple pages. She talks about "Crisis Public Relations." Once again, she doesn't say much about the subject itself, essentially saying that crisis public relations is used when a company faces a crisis, but she does give a very relevant example (The Odwalla case) to illustrate her point. More than you can say for any of the other sections.

If we skip ahead to the section titled "Variety of Clients Use Public Relations," on page 227, there follows a bulleted list of various organizations that use PR. This information is mildly intelligent until you hit the last bullet, which is "International." In this section Biagi reverts back to her Keanu Reeve-ish style of writing, writing two sentences about the actual subject and then continuing on for half a page about a completely different subject. She begins the section with two sentences that vaguely illustrate how PR is used in countries other than the United States, and then writes half a page worth of bullets about the "Responsibilities of PR people." Once again, while this information is relevant to the subject of Public Relations as a whole, it really has nothing to do with the subject it is stated under: International [PR.]

Seeing as how I was able to vent all my frustration about this book here, I'm feeling quite better. Rather than going with my original plan of masturbating with sandpaper in order to distract myself from the pain of reading that one chapter, I guess I'll just have to have a good old fashioned book burning: none of the mess, and tons more fun!

My friend is going to hell

2006-12-09T00:40:00.000-08:00

So I'm going to keep this blog. I found that I love writing in it, people responded well, and in fact, I'm planning on changing my major to Journalism as a result of this blog. I must say that this class has gone quite well for me.

I'd like to thank everyone who has complimented me on being a good writer and has kept up with reading my entries. That does mean a lot to me.

Also, I hope I've made all of you laugh at least once.

I'll leave everyone with a true story (it will sound unbelieveable) that my friend just told me over the phone. And even though I can't personally verify much of the information, I know my friend well enough to believe him.

--

So as of late, my friend has been living a wild life. He only recently turned 18 and just finished up his first two quarters at De Anza Community College.

So imagine my surprise when he told me he has been hanging around skinheads. As in "I hate anyone who is not white" skinheads.

Not only that, but his friends mom was able to get him a job in the bar she works at.

Furthermore, he constantly gets hit on by hot drunk girls.

On the phone he told me he was heading over to the home of one of the girls he met at this bar for, lets say, "coffee."

On top of this, this girl happened to be a stripper.

But the thing is, the last week, his truck had blown up and he didn't have a car to get there. This begs the question: Whose car was he driving?

His best friend's mom's minivan.

At this point if you're asking yourself, "What does the skinhead thing have to do with anything?"

You see, before he started driving to the stripper's house, he stopped by one of the skinhead's house and the skinhead gave him a book. What book did this happen to be? Mein Kampf.

He also happened to have a bottle of alcohol in his car as well.

And to put the icing on the cake, his best friend, as well as his best friend's mother, are both Jewish.

So to reiterate, my 18 year old friend is driving his best friend's Jewish mom's minivan to a stripper's house to have sex, with a copy of Mein Kampf and a bottle of booze in the car.

I can't make this shit up.

Lieutenant Dan!

2006-11-30T10:30:00.000-08:00

I orginally heard about this while listening to Live 105. Then I found a
BBC article on it with more details.

In Hawthorn, County Durham in the United Kingdom, police were led on an 80 mile per hour car chase--

Nothing that unusual, it happens in the US all the time.

-The suspect also had traces of heroin and cocaine in his blood--

Surprise, surprise. The guy who led police in a high speed chase was whacked out on drugs.

-The suspect was also a double amputee--

You know all these high speed car chases getting in the news is just sensationalist journa--wait, did I just read that right?

-the suspect had duct taped two broom handles to the accelerator and brakes to control the car due to the fact that he has no legs--

Holy shit, this guy is my hero.

The article went on to say that suspect, Robert Bate, got sentenced to 12 months in prison and was banned from driving for two years.

My opinion on the matter?

This guy shouldn't be in prison, he should be in the olympics. If I had a say in the matter, this guy would get the nobel prize for awesomeness.

I'll go one step further and say this: I wish I was hit by this guy. It would have been the most excellent way to die ever. The only way it could be more awesome is if there was a pirate and/or lumberjack involved. Imagine if you were hit by this guy and what kind of eulogy you would get. "No one expected Amir to get hit by a double amputee high on heroin using broom sticks to control the pedals, but then, neither did Tom Cruise."

Man, amputees rock.

Not That Lucky

2006-11-29T15:45:00.000-08:00

My friend Selma asked me for a quote about an article she was writing (She's a journalism major) concerning those people who pass stuff out and try to get you to sign up for things on campus. This was my response, in anecdotal form along with some added stuff from what I originally wrote for her:

The other day, I was walking to the student union because I needed to use the restroom. As usual, there were people handing out assorted fliers. Usually, I'm covert enough to avoid all who approach me, but today, I wasn't that lucky.

I accidentally made eye contact with one of them and for some reason, this was interpreted as "Hey, not only will I listen to you, but I'll sign over my first born if you convince me." I tried to walk at a quick pace to avoid him, but he was able to squeeze out his question, which was along the lines of:

"Excuse me, do you have forty-five seconds to help fight discrimination?"

Bear in mind that at this moment, I was heading to the restroom and lets just say Punxsutawney Phil failed to see his shadow and had no intention on re-entering his burrow. Seeing as how winter was about to end and I didn't want Phil or any of the Cleveland Browns weighing me down, I said the only thing I could think of to end the situation: "Sorry, no."

As I was walking away, he gave me a weird look and it was clear that I had somehow insulted him.

No shit. What the hell did he expect? If he's going to ask a loaded question like that, of course he's going to hear something he doesn't want to hear. That's like a girl asking me, "Does this make me look fat?" I know whatever I choose to say, I'm probably screwed.

In fact, I don't think he was asking me to fight discrimination at all. He actually asked, "Hey, you can choose to be a sniveling shit and walk away from me thus enforcing discrimination and nullifying the hundreds of years of progress of civil rights in America, or you can stop, listen to me, and quite possibly, poop your pants."

The thing that bothered me most about this guy is that his question practically guilt trips people into listening to him. How is that supposed to make people feel? I don't know about anyone else, but the last thing I want to think while I'm on my way to the bathroom is that I'm about to take a shit all over the fight against discrimination.

This is not to say that I didn't have forty-five seconds to help fight discrimination. I do, but I didn't have it at that moment. If you're going to ask stuff like this on a college campus, you're bound to hear an answer you don't want to hear. People have shit to do, classes to be at, projects to get done. Don't be offended if one doesn't have the time.

If I walked up to him and asked something like, "Excuse me, do have forty-five seconds to help third world Ethiopian babies from being incinerated by tick infested wild boars who spit nuclear waste and fart mustard gas?"

What do you think he would do? Would he stop and think, "Man, I really can't be to class late because I don't want to walk in and interrupt a classmate's presentation to the class, but it's only forty-five I could do some real good right now despite the fact that forty-five seconds is barley enough time to wipe myself," or would he think, "I can help make a difference on my own time without having this asshole guilt trip me into being late for class."

If I were him, I would think the latter. And then I would kick me in the nuts.

HOLY SHIT! IT'S A MIRACLE!!

2006-11-08T15:20:00.000-08:00

After signing out of my hotmail account, it always takes me to the MSN homepage. Usually I just close the window and move on to the next website, but the top news story caught my eye. I reopened another tab in firefox to find the headline:

RUMSFELD STEPS DOWN

I don't think I've been this happy in the longest time. Not only did the Democrats take back the House of Representatives and possibly the Senate, but the person who best represents the incompetence of the Bush administration had finally paid the price for his arrogance.

Don't get me wrong, I am no means a Democrat or Republican. My stance is different depending on the issues, but I know ineptitude when I see it and the Bush administration has ineptitude written all over it, especially Rumsfeld.

In 2004, I was a optimistic young lad, who not only wanted to vote, but who go out of his way to convince friends, family, and co-workers to vote and that their vote counted.

The only problem was that I was turning 18 exactly two weeks after election day.

I was disappointed, but that did not keep me down. I knew that John Kerry would be voted next President of the United States. Granted, Kerry was a giant douche, but Bush was and is a Turd Sandwich. Not only was he a Turd Sandwich, but after scandals the slew of scandals that plagued the Bush administration, which included Halliburton, Tom Delay, Political Pundits being bribed, Abu Ghraib, Guantánamo Bay, the obvious deficiencies in rebuilding Iraq, and 28 other scandals which were almost impossible to keep track of, I thought there was no way in hell ANYONE could still want Bush running the country (into the ground.) There was no way that the American people would continue on with a president whose level of incompetence was beyond my wildest dreams rather than take their chances with, lets say, ANYONE.

And then Bush was re-elected.

My hopes and dreams for a better tomorrow were crushed. I decided after that that I would not bother registering to vote. For four years, I had seen the most irrational decisions ever made by anyone, followed by the re-election of those same people, thereby, validating their actions. It was as if Karl Rove and the Bush Administration had convinced the American people that we had walked in on them masturbating when in reality, each member of the administration had taken turns to bukkake all over us.

For the following two years, I watched scandal after scandal unfold from Katrina and Michael Brown to Jack Abarmoff, each time thinking to myself, "Fuck it. We re-elected him after all the shit he pulled from 2000 till 2004, what are the chances that anything is going to change anytime soon?"

Thankfully, my pessimism was quickly extinguished. As fore mentioned, the democrats took back the House of Representatives and the Senate is now evenly split, figuratively neutering the Bush Administration's ability to pass whatever it would like through congress. And to put the icing on the cake, the man who claimed to know where the weapons of mass destruction were and then went on to deny that he ever claimed to know where they were (see video below), the shiny red beacon upon the nose of the already pizza-faced administration, has finally been ousted.

My faith in democracy has been restored. Tomorrow, I'm going to register to vote.

Tim Burton, stop being a bitch

2006-11-01T12:26:00.000-08:00

This is in response to classmate Melissa Redona's blog entry about her experience viewing The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D.

She explained how she thought it was a rip-off and how the movie is barley even in 3D.

All I have to say is this: should she, or anyone else for that matter, really be that surprised?

Tim Burton: What a bitch
Personally, I think Tim Burton, director of the movie, is starting to sell out. It seems like he is starting to capitalize off his cult following (which has recently become less of a cult following and more of a fad,) while forgetting what got him that cult following in the first place. I mean, I've seen significantly more people own Nightmare Before Christmas shirts, shoes, toys, and other merchandise now than when it was originally released in theaters in 1993.

Come on, this is almost as bad as KISS

And look his two previous releases before NBC in 3D:

-Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
-Corpse Bride

For Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Burton decided to reach down to the deepest depths of his creative genius only to arrive at the decision to make a remake of a movie that was based on a book. That's like doing a cover of a cover song. He totally ruined Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, whose original theme of "pure imagination" was completely gutted out and replaced with the theme of, "Tim Burton is the director of this movie, therefore, you should watch it." He then made Willy Wonka look like a freaking pedophile and totally ruined the Oompa Loompas, not to mention, completely butchering their songs.

Then Burton made Corpse Bride, which I theorize, was made because he got bored had nothing better to do. It doesn't even compare to The Nightmare Before Christmas. The great thing about The Nightmare Before Christmas was that it had an extremely original storyline as well as a form of delivery (stop-animation) that wasn't in any other movie at that time.

Corpse Bride was another stop-animation film which had a unoriginal and uninteresting storyline whose ending could be seen from a mile away. The best I can say about it is that it is a typical Tim Burton film. And for a director like Tim Burton, who built his career on being different and original, calling his film typical is probably the worst kind of criticism he could get.

I wanted to try to end on a positive note, perhaps point out some good things Tim Burton had done recently, but I can't even do that. The last good movie Tim Burton made was Big Fish, and guess what?: that too was based on a book!

If Tim Burton decides to stay on the fast-track to become a sell-out asshole, his name won't mean anything anymore. Putting "Directed by Tim Burton" at the end of any movie preview will become analogous to taking any idea and adding the phrase, "in space," to the end of it (example: The Diary of Anne Frank...IN SPACE!)

Sadly, despite the utter lack of originality being distributed by Burton, he probably won't stop being idolized. Judging from other artists that have let their works go in the shitter, Burton will probably be famous for years to come. He'll be right up there, ranking among the likes of Jim Davis and his shitty comic strip, and other filmmakers who haven't made a good film in a decade.

This makes me want a pelican

2006-10-30T13:48:00.000-08:00

I was watching BBC News the other day and saw the funniest thing I've seen in a while. Thankfully, I was able to find it again on youtube.

Man, Pelicans are awesome.

Law for Kids!!

2006-10-29T13:42:00.000-08:00

My younger brother was surfing a random message board the other day and he pointed a particularly interesting website to me entitled "Law for Kids."

Apparently this is a site created by the state of Arizona to help inform their young people about the laws in the state.

The true hilarity of this site lies in the comics made to help illustrate their points.

Here are a couple of the comic strips (click to enlarge them):

First of all, who dresses like that?? If anyone dresses like that, they should be arrested for being a dumbass. Also, notice their lack of explanation of how marijiuana is bad for you, as well as their lack of explanation as to how each of those guys got to the point where they were at. For all we know, they blonde kid could have gotten to the top of a company by popping pills of speed to help him ignore the crippling pain of being a virgin at age 30 and still living with his mom. Plus it doesn't even show who he is presenting to. He could be a crazy homeless man who bought a suit at Goodwill and is presenting his findings about how the apocalypse is coming to an audience of stray cats and dead mice he salvaged from a McDonald's dumpster.

Rather than posting my own interpretation of this comic, here's what one kid who commented on the comic had to say:

"On 03/27/06
Jesucristo from AL said:
Shouldn't he be in Juvenile Hall..? Why does that guy have a beard? And why did he try to kill the audience after that guy saved him from choking?"

Not only does the site have comics, they have animations as well. Here are screenshots from a couple of them. If you would like, you can view them here, although I wouldn't recommend it. You know those kung fu movies where the voices are really badly translated to English and the voices don't match up with the mouths of the actors? That is what it's like watching these animations, except they aren't badly translated from another language; they were made for and English audience and are still mismatched. On top of that, they make a pathetically sad attempt to be educational.

In the animation, T.P. Spells Trouble, four kids decide to toilet paper and egg someones house. Who would have guessed. If you weren't completely blown away by the shap, biting wit demonstrated in the title, wait till you watch the cartoon itself.

Here is the aftermath of their dirty deed.

Notice how all the eggs are suddenly cooked. Either its so hot in Arizona that eggs cook on peoples' windows, or Lawforkids.org just gave all their viewers a genius new way of egging peoples' houses. And who the hell TPs anyone during the day? And if its supposed to be a night scene, then the artist did a pretty shitty job of illustrating this, although it would still look pretty shitty even if it did look like it was night.

In the animation entitled, "Long Day at the Mall", two girls go into a mall. The girl in the wheelchair hides a couple items in her wheelchair and then switches the price tag on one of the items.

What do I interpret from this cartoon? Well, this is the only comic strip or animation with a person in a wheelchair so I assume the message is, "The physically handicapped are a threat to our society and must be stopped, possibly by further crippling them." Actually, if you take the time to look at all the comics and animations, you'll notice that most of the "bad kids" in the comics are of a different race/crippled/has colored hair. Congratulations Arizona, you're promoting the idea that people who look different are criminals. Idiots.

Looks like Arizona wants to inform their kids, but decided to cheap out when doing so. When I have kids, I'm going to allow them to hang out with childern from Arizona. I don't want them to catch the stupid.

Just when you thought Texas couldn't spit out anything stupider than George W. Bush...

2006-10-23T13:21:00.000-07:00

According to an article on AOL News, Texas schools have a new way of fighting potential intruders.

In the case that an armed intruder were to enter a school, children who attend school in the Burleson School District are now encouraged to "not to comply with a gunman's orders, and to take him down."

"Browne recommends students and teachers 'react immediately to the sight of a gun by picking up anything and everything and throwing it at the head and body of the attacker and making as much noise as possible. Go toward him as fast as we can and bring them down.'

Response Options trains students and teachers to 'lock onto the attacker's limbs and use their body weight,' Browne said. Everyday classroom objects, such as paperbacks and pencils, can become weapons."

Well it looks like Texans are out to prove Darwin's theory of natural selection by encouraging their kids to get themselves shot. I couldn't believe what I was reading in this article. Granted, this may sound like a good idea, especially when its supporters compare it the hijacked planes of September 11th and the school shooting at Columbine. These two examples supposedly "[make] it clear that the usual advice during a hijacking - Don't try to be a hero, and no one will get hurt - no longer holds."

The defenders of this tactic point out United flight 93 as an example that fighting back might work. I actually agree with this example, but its kind of a stretch that it might work in a school shooting. On the plane, the weapons used were box cutters, where as in a school shooting, there are guns. There’s a huge fucking difference between the two. Box cutters, when used as weapons, are short range weapons, in which a person has to be within stabbing distance to get hurt. With a gun, a person could be several yards away and easily get shot before they could get to the intruder.

As for the example of the wrestling star of a high school taking down a gunman, there was only one gunman. In Columbine, as well as many other school shootings, there is more than just one person attacking. In that case, it might not be as successful to fight back.

I'm not saying that this tactic won't stop a gunman. I think it’s entirely possible that they could stop a gunman, but I think there is a much greater potential to have more seriously wounded or even killed with this tactic.

The people who support this tactic point out that the "don't be a hero," tactic doesn't work. I'll admit that it’s not perfect, but no system is going to be. There is no fool-proof system to stop attackers. Rather, schools should go with the system that will cause the least amount of harm to come to students. Rather than either of the systems proposed (don't be a hero versus fighting back,) I believe a system which concentrates of protecting children would provide for the best results.

For example, at my old high school, we actually had to engage in a code red drill because there was criminal with a sawed off shot gun who was running from police and found his way on to our campus parking lot. The tactic used was to find shelter in the nearest classroom, turn off the lights, lock the door, and create a barricade around any entrances using chairs, desks, and any other large bulky items and then remain silent.

Thankfully in our situation, the suspect was apprehended before he was able to make it near any of the classrooms.

But the tactic used to protect us was based on reason. In school shootings, the suspects are usually looking for people and do not want to waste their time breaking down a barricade. If they see this, they will probably move on and find easier targets (as much as I hate to use that metaphor.) In the case that he/she would come across an unlit classroom with no noise coming from it, its doubtful that the gunperson would go out of their way to find out if anyone is in the classroom.

Granted this plan is not perfect either. The gunperson could easily do the things I suggest that they probably won't do, but like I said earlier, there is always going to be that aspect with any plan suggested. The point is that intelligent plans which prevent the most amount of harm from being done are the ones that should be taught to students. And I don't believe that the new tactic proposed by Burleson School District comes even close to intelligent and probably will cause much more harm in a shorter amount of time.

Maf54 (7:39:32 PM): you need a massage

2006-10-18T14:22:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago, the Republican Party was struck with yet another scandal this year. This time, congressman Mark Foley of Florida is at the spotlight. For what you ask?

Foley, Co-chairman of the Senate Exploited Children Caucus, was caught sending sexually explicit e-mails and instant messages to underage paiges working at the white house.

Wow, another political scandal. Tell us something we don't know.

I'm so jaded by scandals commited during this adminstration (by both Democrats and Republicans) that I didn't even raise an eyebrow when I first heard this.

What gets to me is that Dennis Hastert, Republican Speaker of the House, knew about it and did nothing when he did find out. And now that the scandal broke out, he has taken full responsiblity for everything that has happened, but is not resigning his position. That roughtly translates to Dennis Hastert saying: "My bad."

The Republicans in congress have even go as far as to blame the Democratic party and the liberal media for waiting till right before the election to release this story, saying that they are trying to sabatoge the Republican Party.

Ideas like this are propagated by people like Pat Buchannan.

I think we can agree that Pat Buchannan is batshit insane.

(Side Note: Also, notice how Buchannan fails to mention his source, or any evidence whatsoever, to back up his claim that ABC knew about it a year ago.)

What gets to me is that there seems to be no accountablitiy anymore. Foley used the Mel Gibson Defense, Hastert takes blame but no punishment. According to sourcewatch.org, the Bush Administration is plauged with a ridiculous amount of scandals including but not limited to; Iraq, Halliburton, torture, etc. Yet, Bush is still serving in office, with virtually no punishment for these scandals. And Bill Clinton was impeached because he lied about getting a blow job. Nice.

You can read a complete transcript of one of Foley's instant message conversations here.

Best. TV Shows. Ever.

2006-10-16T13:31:00.000-07:00

I've read many of the posts that my classmates have posted before me and found that a lot of people have chosen the same shows (many of which were mentioned in class.) Although I do admit shows like Roots, MASH, The Cosby Show, and other television shows have had a significant impact on our society, I would rather write about ones that have yet to be talked about.

Also, for each show, I'll cite the source of information from where I got the information from, seeing as how many of the shows I'll be talking about existed before I was born.

Side Note: I plan on using Wikipedia as a source for much of these summaries. In a past entry, I criticized Wikipedia for being a shitty source for information, which I still stand by, but as for pop culture, I must say it is a decent source. Not the best, but enough to cite in an entry like this.

3. The Simpsons

According to Wikipedia, The Simpsons was one of the only animated series to appear in a primetime slot, second only to the Flintstones; and rightfully so. This show totally reshaped what an animated series could be. Based on the jokes and subject matter, the Simpsons threw out the idea that cartoons were just for kids. The show touched satirically on touchy issues such as gun control and violent cartoons that had yet to be seen in its day, and unmatched until the creation of South Park.

As far as changing the way we looked at television programming, The Simpsons did alot; it could also be argued that it had a huge cultural impact on our sense of humor (who hasn't made a prank phone call and asked for Seymore Butts?) as well as merchandising for a television show. But it is hard to classify the Simpsons significant as far as addressing relevant social issues go. Hence, it is at number three.

Sources: Wikipedia

2. All in the Family

All in the family broke newgrounds with its humor. Using satire, they addressed issues such as race, sexism, and homosexuality; issues which were very taboo at the time at which they were addressed on the show.

The show centered around the main character Archie Bunker, portrayed by actor Carroll O'Connor. Archie Bunker was the stereotype of a bigoted man who was lampooned on the show, often with true to life characteristics. A modern day comparison would be Stephen Colbert on the Colbert Report. Stephen Colbert's character on the Colbert Report is similar to Carroll O'Connor's character, Archie Bunker.

Here is a prime example of what the character Archie Bunker was like:

Here is a quote from Wikipedia about one instance in the series:

In addition to its candid political dialogue, All in the Family's storylines also included a sense of realism not previously associated with sitcoms. A 1973 episode, for example, found the Bunkers discovering a swastika painted on their front door. (It had been intended for their Jewish neighbors down the street.) An activist from the Hebrew Defense League showed up, proposing violent retaliation against whomever painted it, but upon leaving, he was blown up in his car, as the Bunkers watched in horror from their front door. To interweave illness, crime, or in this case, the onscreen violent death of a character into the plot of a comedy show was an unprecedented move.

-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_In_The_Family#Production

All in the Family blazed new paths, touching on issues that many networks at the time were deathly afraid to touch, but the timing of the series has set the series at number two on my countdown. Plus it doesn't help that the series unleashed Sally Struthers and Rob Reiner upon the world.

Sources: Wikipedia, Youtube

1. Star Trek

Star trek was a revolutionary program for its time (the timing of the series being the main reason I chose it over All in the Family as the most important.) Originally appearing in 1966, in the middle of the civil rights movement and the Cold War, Star Trek did boldly go where no show had gone before. For one of the first times in history, an African-American woman (Nichelle Nichols as Lieutenant Uhura) was portrayed in a major and respectful role in an American television series. Soon after the beginning of the series, two other characters, HikaruSulu (George Takei) and Pavel Chekov (Walter Koening) were added as major Asian and Russian (respectively) characters within the show. The show did not stop there. They also aired the first interracial kiss on television between actors Nichelle Nichols and William Shatner.

The show taking place in space was not based Gene Roddenberry's obsession with space. At the time, the Americans and Russians were in fierce competition to make space travel a reality and the setting of Star Trek played into the public's preoccupation with space exploration.

Despite its nerdly following, Star Trek often had greater intentions besides giving its viewers something to jerk off to.

What nerds had to resort to before anime porn.

Star Trek propagated the idea that people of different cultures, races, and even species, could live and work together in harmony, as demonstrated with the bridge crew of the starship Enterprise.

The idea that bad actors (Shatner) are on an equal level with the rest of us was kind of a stretch.

Star Trek was easily one of the most "ahead of its time" series ever on television as well as being a show the propagated the ideas in equality of America, and thus, has landed on my number one spot.

Sources: IMDB, Wikipedia, my dad

Howard Stern is on the decline

2006-10-14T19:31:00.000-07:00

Howard Stern is a marketing genius. As far as content-wise, he's not that original. He's just goes for the most shocking, which is usually not that creative or interesting.

This past weekend I was listening to Howard Stern on Sirius Satellite Radio in one of the vehicles at the company I work for. When it was Stern's standard show, they focused on celebrity news. Stuff that I had seen on the covers of tablioids at the supermarket (I would rather get an enema from a transexual thai hooker than read a celebrity tabloid. Weekly World News is sufficently awesome though), but unlike the tabloids at the supermarket, Stern and his cronies made it funny and interesting.

As far as his impact goes, he did push the limits when he was on FM radio. But now that hes on satellite radio hes just kinda, meh. Its not that his stuff is any less interesting, its that I'm not going to pay the money for satellite radio just so I get hundereds of channels and no commericals. First, I don't need hundereds of channels. The only time I do listen to radio is in my car and I usually swtich between two stations and occasionally, a station oustide of those two. I would compare getting satellite radio to getting an eBook reader. I'll get satellite radio right after I get an eBook reader.

Lets take a look at it from a "target audience" perspective. I would say the target audience for Howard Stern would be highschool students, college students, and white trash. The target audience for satellite radio are people who are willing to spent extra money on a form of radio that they don't necearrily need. Most college students and usually high school students can only afford what they need and can't afford the luxury of having satellite radio. And white trash...well, they're white trash. I think that speaks for itself.

To summarize, Howard Stern was important and cutting edge when he first came out, but he has since lost his appeal to his target audience.

Eric Bauman = Worse Than Napster

2006-10-03T11:07:00.000-07:00

Lets say that you were at work and you told someone a funny joke you made up, and then a week later, a donky-raping shit eater of a co-worker tells it to your boss. Furthermore, he says that its his joke that he made up and gets promoted because your boss would rather promote someone who is personable rather than someone who knows how to do their job. How would you feel?

I would want to gouge his eyes out and replace them with cadbury eggs as well.

Thats how hundereds of internet savvy entreprenuers felt with the rise of eBaums world.com. (I will not link to his site, because he doesn't deserve the publicity.)

Eric Bauman is perhaps the biggest plagiarizer on the internet, yet, no one knows about this situation.

Heres a video that summarizes the situation quite well:

Essentailly, if you didn't get it from the video, Eric Bauman copied a bunch of animations, videos, pictures, etc. from other websites, stuck his name on all of them, and then sold ad space on his website. This is a prime example of plagiarism going on today. Despite this, Eric Bauman's site is still at large. It used to be that you couldn't find his website through google, but that has since stopped and you can still find his website, although it should have been shut down a long time ago.

Personally, I used to visit the site all the time until I found aout Bauman's tactics. Now I think hes a total asshole. If you would like to support the fight against Bauman, and against plagiarism in our society, visit eBaums world sucks dot com. Not only do they provide you information about Bauman's exploits, they link to several websites which are dedicated to providing all original material and giving creit where credit is due.

Wired Magazine Kicks Ass

2006-10-03T10:29:00.000-07:00

I don't read magazines that much, at all really, but I had to do some research on advertisements for my Intro to Advertising class, so the other day I decided to shuffle through the magazine section in the student union store. I one of my favorties, Spin, as well as Newsweek, and one I hadn't read before.

It was the august issue of Wired Magazine. I've never read it, but it had a picture of Stephen Colbert on the cover, and naturally, I was inclined to buy it. After reading it, I've decided its my new favorite magazine and that I should critique it.

Wired magazine a magazine geared towards a specific audience but not as specialized as say, PC World. The audience can be judged based on they type of articles they have. Most of the major articles are only ones that are relevant to those who work computers and technology of that sort into their everyday lives; for example, if you rather be one with nature and walk barefoot through the forest insted of hearing about downtown San Jose going completely wifi, then this magazine isn't for you (plus you should eat a steak, take a shower, and get a real job you black-footed hippie.) Rather, if you own a mp3 player, digital camera, or incorporate alot of electronics into your hobbies, Wired will provide you with a mental orgasm, without the trouble of getting the pages stuck together.

Examples of Articles:

-A profile of Shawn Hogan, CEO of digital point solutions, who was sued by the Motion Picture Association of America for downloading a movie that he owns on dvd, and his legal fight against the MPAA. (Aritcle by David Goldenberg)

-A profile of Max Goldberg, creator of the website, You're the Man Now Dog dot com. (www.ytmnd.com)

-An article explaining how car keys with signal-emitting chips don't protect you from car theft as well as you may think.

These articles and more can be found on wired's website, and archive for the August 2006 issue.

The thing that sticks out to me about this magazine, is that it isn't written for third graders. I once read an issue of Alternative Press magazine and after, I thought I had suffered a brain aneurysm. Not only that, but I lost all bowel control and started shitting all over the room. Reading it was that painful (I'll spare you the idocy and not link to their website.) But not Wired. Although it is easy reading, it is geared towards a more educated audience and won't make you feel like you're in the remidial class of a school in Alabama.

Cannes Advertising Festival Winner; According to Me

2006-09-28T21:56:00.000-07:00

So in my Advertising 91 class (Introduction to Advertising,) which is also taught by Professor Buchwitz, we watched a bunch of commercials that were candidates for the Cannes Advertising Festival, and we are required to form a group and choose which Ad we feel was the best.

All the talk about Ads got me to thinking of one of my favorite ads ever.

I remember a couple years ago I was sick with the flu and felt like shit. Then I took some Longs brand tylenol and I felt great. That commerical described exactly how I was feeling. Great.

The Kite Runner: Propaganda With a Positive Spin

2006-09-28T00:46:00.000-07:00

On September 11th, 2001 the United States was forever changed. Soon, religious fanatic Osama Bin Laden was identified as the mastermind behind the attack on the World Trade Center. Furthermore, it was revealed that the country of Afghanistan was the country sheltering him. It was only a matter of time before the United States invaded. The invasion of Afghanistan and the fight against the terrorist organization, the Taliban, helped to thrust Islam into the headlines of every form of the American media. The debate grew into a nation-wide questioning of Islam as a religion and the entire Middle Eastern region.
The novel, The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini is a fictional story about a Afghani man by the name of Amir and his story about coming to terms with his past, including his relationship with his father, his religion, and his best friend who, in twist towards the end of the story, we find out is his half brother. Not only is the novel a personal tale but it also shines a different light on life in Afghanistan before, during, and after Taliban rule, one that has had little representation in American society. The novel itself was released only two years after September 11th and also ties in the events of that day into itself as well. The timing of the release of the book as well as the subject matter has called the intentions of the book into question; was the Kite Runner meant as a form of propaganda?
Based on the definition of the word propaganda; a message directly aimed at influencing peoples opinions; I would have to say that The Kite Runner is a form of Propaganda. The message that Hosseini is trying to convey through his novel is a perspective to inform the American public about Afghani culture and how it is not as far off from American culture as one might think.
Hosseini beings the story with his explanation of Amir’s childhood, growing up with a deceased mother and a father who was always disappointed in him; he went on to tell about his relationship between his servant and playmate, Hassan. Amir narrates the story going on to explain how he never referred to Hassan as a friend because of the cultural standards set by religious differences within Islam. More specifically, he explains the differences between the two major sects of Islam, Sunni, the sect which Amir belongs to, and Shi’a, the sect which Hassan belongs to.
The main message I believe that the early part of the book is trying to convey is that all people who practice Islam are the same. Similarly to Christianity, as well as other major religions, there is more than one way to practice the same religion. The two sects can be related to the differences between Protestantism and Catholicism. Both beliefs are based in Christianity, but both take very different approaches towards the religion, much like the Shi’a and Sunni take different approaches to Islam.
Personally, this did not change my perspective on Islam because of the fact that my father is from Pakistan and therefore, I have grown up with a more educated background towards Islam and the sects within it than the average American student. Although, I do recognize the fact, as well as before reading this book, that many Americans had no clue as to the differences between the two major sects in Islam; let alone the fact that there are different ways to practice Islam.
The story continues and shifts more focus on the personal story of Amir. The major issue that Amir faces in the novel is the event where he witnesses Hassan being raped by another child, while trying to protect a Kite that rightfully belonged to Amir. This is a major conflict for Amir because the kite represents a bond between him and his father, and he knew that if he brought it home to his father, he would get the emotional support that he longed from his father. On the other hand, in order to get that emotional bond from his father, he lets Hassan get assaulted, partially due to the fact that he knew Hassan was faithful to him.
Although this does not directly connect the American reader to Islam or Afghani culture, it demonstrates an emotional decision that many Americans can relate to. Amir is torn between letting his friend get hurt in order to get love from his father. Although many Americans, or Afghanis for that matter, may have not faced a conundrum as difficult as the one described, they probably have had a situation where they were forced to make a decision in which either way, it would require sacrifice. This establishes an emotional bond between the American reader and their perception of the Afghani people and brings them to a closer understanding of how the two cultures are more similar than different.
Towards the end of the novel, Amir moves to the United States and we continue to watch as he grows as a person. He is then summoned by his father’s old friend, Rahim Khan, to return to Afghanistan in order to reconcile with his past. It is explained that by this point, Afghanistan had gone through major political changes, explaining how it was invaded by the Soviets, aided by the Americans to fight the Soviets, and then taken over by religious extremists, or in other words, the Taliban. A significant event in the novel centers on an Afghani soccer game, in which at half time, a public execution takes place in a stadium.
Hosseini uses this as an example to debunk the American perception that the Islamic religion endorses terrorism. He compares and contrasts the Afghani way of life during Taliban rule; the one which most Americans are familiar with; with that of the Afghani way of life before the Soviet invasion, when Amir was a child. The childhood memory of Afghanistan is a much more peaceful and stable view of the country compared to the chaotic world when religious fanatics are in power. Once again, I personally knew of there differences between Islamic countries in which religious fanatics are in power and Islamic countries in which reasonable people are in charge, but Hosseini is trying to convey the message to those who are not familiar with the culture. The story exemplifies the fact that not all Muslims are fanatical, much unlike the message and images being delivered by the American media, post September 11th.
These are but a few of the ways that Hosseini uses his book to propagate his ideas and views of Afghanistan, its culture, and its religion. But, unlike the social connotations regarding propaganda, Hosseinin uses propaganda in a positive way to explain a different perspective on a culture that not many Americans are familiar with.

I Hate the Geico Gecko

2006-09-25T14:09:00.000-07:00

For those who watch advertisements, you probably recognize this thing. It is a computer generated Gecko used to advertise Geico auto insurance. Ever since his first appearance, he has been a staple in Geico advertisements...

...despite the fact that the Geico Gecko is a total asshole.

You may ask, "Amir, I agree that the Geico Gecko a stupid advertisement idea and that whoever thought it have their eyes gouged out by Chuck Norris (you better), but what merits calling it an asshole?"

Glad you asked.

Consider this commercial:

Still not convinced? Here is my rough translation of the message Geico is conveying:

See? Total asshole.

You know what else is as easy as standing up? Shooting yourself. And you could probably save your family a bunch of money by doing so as well. But we don't see anyone rushing out to do that now, do we?

Here's yet another commercial:

So this commercial says that you can only Geico quote at Geico.com and compares that "privilege" to being in "exclusive club." Then they have the audacity to imply that those who do get a Geico quote are better than everyone else.

What this tells me is that on insurance sites such as Progressive Auto Insurance, in which you can compare car insurance rates side by side, you can't get a Geico quote to compare. You have to go out of your way to geico.com to get the quote. Why's that, is Geico afraid of a little competition? Or perhaps they're afraid that people will see through their thinly veiled bullshit? My guess is the latter.

Here's the final asshole commercial I'll analyze:

Fuck him. I'd never trust my kids around that two-faced son of a bitch.

Now that guy who plays the president on 24 and is in the Allstate auto insurance commercials, that guy can be trusted:

Dennis Haysbert: Poster boy of Trust

Since most of my audience is familiar with San Jose State, I'll assume they're somewhat familiar with the campus. As of late, if you walk into either Hugh Gillis Hall or Dudley Moorhead Hall, right by the newspaper stand as you walk in, you'll probably see a bunch of papers on the floor. The first time I saw this, I thought someone decided to be a slob and throw a bunch of old papers on the floor, that is, until I noticed that all the papers were face up.

These papers were geico advertisements supporting their Cavemen are people too campaign, strategically placed...on the floor.

Not only does Geico going out of their way to make a mess for the SJSU janitorial staff to clean up, but they don't even consider the chance that someone might not see one of their stupidly placed ads and slip. Further proof that Geico not only hates crippled people, but they want to make us college students into cripples as well. Therefore, technically, Geico hates college students.

On top of all this, in a majority of the geico commercials, absolutely nothing is said about the company other than, "Geico could save you hundreds on your car insurance."

Guess what? Every other car insurance company on the planet says the exact same thing or something to that effect. So what's so special about Geico?

Perhaps they're "special" because they spend millions of dollars on shitty commercials? Yeah, I think thats it.

Tomāto, Tomăto

2006-09-20T19:28:00.000-07:00

So we're supposed to read an article from the San Jose Mercury News printed version and then read the same article on the Mercury's website; then blog about the experience.

So here's how my "experience" went.

First I read the SJ Mercury News print article, "Latest Elmo Makes a Splash," in which they talk about the latest version of Tickle Me Elmo, or TMX, which stands for Tickle Me Elmo...XTREME!

Then I read the SJ Mercury News online article, "Latest Elmo Makes a Splash," in which they talk about the latest version of Tickle Me Elmo, or TMX, which stands for Tickle Me Elmo...XTREME!

...

Reading the article on the two different mediums was sort of like reading those last two sentences.

If it is the same article, its going to read exactly the same, except on a fucking computer screen.

If I asked you to watch an episode of The Office (in fact, I'm going to encourage it. New season premires tomorrow, Thursday 21st at 8:30 on NBC) at your house, and then told you to go watch it at your friends house and compare the two experiences, you'd probably tell me to go fuck myself.

How do I feel about the differences as a consumer of news? I feel like I wasted 5 minutes of my life reading the same article twice, thats how I feel.

If you're wondering why I chose the Tickle Me Elmo XTREME article, watch this video of the toy.

Shit, this makes me want one.

NO I CAN'T STOP YELLING, 'CAUSE THATS HOW I TALK!

2006-09-19T21:49:00.001-07:00

Okay, after clearing up some red tape with the professor, Chris Bausinger, Faith Chihil, Jasmine Mazlumyan, and myself, have established a Snakes on a Plane group for our group project.

As of now, we only have four members. All we need is one more member, but I'm pretty sure we're open to two people joining. The only thing is that I want (an hopefully the group wants) are members that will have fun while doing this. If you're not interested in the movie, or if you don't "get" the movie, you'll probably hate being in the group. One girl already asked to join our group, but as soon as I told her our subject, she backed off. Feel free to contact any of us, through comment or e-mail (mine can be found on my profile.)

We're looking foward to cracking open a bottle of Samuel Jackson and proceeding to whipping out the most kickass presentation anyone has ever seen.

Propaganda we've all encountered...

2006-09-19T11:28:00.000-07:00

In class, Professor Buchwitz got her definition of propaganda from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. I was going to write this entry about how Wikipedia uses the word encyclopedia to propagate the idea that it is a reliable source of information, but I don't think I could stretch that to 200 words.

Rather, I’ve decided to focus on a group that often uses propaganda as a means to live:
Homeless People.

Master of Propaganda

A few months back, I went to San Francisco to go to a concert, and when we were walking back to the parking garage, we encountered many homeless people. In the true homeless people fashion, they asked us for money, but being broke ass college students, we politely declined.

Of course homeless people are used to being denied help and services, so some homeless people have to think of new and exciting ways to get money.

My friend and I encountered one man, who had a story all typed out. He began by giving us a speech about how he used all his money to go to college and that the story he had was one he wrote while attending school. He also went on to tell us that the copy he had was the original copy, and that once he got his book published, that we could possibly make millions.

My friend and I were in a sticky situation and we asked him to go away. He did so quite promptly.

This is probably one of the more creative tactics I’ve seen used by homeless people, although ultimately, not effective. In this situation, based on the way the man was dressed (typical homeless fashion,) it was obvious that he had been living on the streets for an elongated period of time. In addition, one would think that if a person went to college, they would at least be able to get a job at a lower level job, even a fast food restaurant. Ultimately, this homeless man’s propaganda did not affect us.

He also was very polite the whole time while talking to us, a tactic that all homeless people are forced to use. The homeless already have little sympathy from the general public, so it wouldn’t help if they were mean to a donator or potential donator. Although morally, they probably shouldn’t take shit from anyone, this takes away from their ultimate goal: to get the money they need for any reason.

The location is also a factor in this situation. The bay area is known nationwide for their peoples’ sympathy for the homeless. Because of this, homeless people travel from all over the country to come hear because they are more likely to make a better “living.”

But sometimes the most straightforward tactics are the most effective.

I work at a drugstore and at the branch I used to work for, there was constantly panhandlers sitting outside our store. Now many people are sympathetic to the plight of the less fortunate, and give these people spare change. But, the donator is not there the whole time the person is sitting out in front of our store. Employees know that once the panhandler sitting outside of the store has enough change, they will come in and buy a beer.

This is a highly effective form of propaganda for the homeless man. They appeal to other peoples’ sense of sympathy to convince them to give them money. That in combination of waiting till that person leaves the area and keeping them in the dark about what the money is going to be spent on, propagates the idea to the donator that the money they gave the homeless man will be used to help get him off the street. They usually end the transaction with a “God bless you,” appealing to the donators sense of morality and good will.

The final anecdote is for the people we see at intersections, usually with a cardboard sign who aren’t actually homeless.

These people are better dressed than the average homeless person. They aren’t actually homeless, but they use the cardboard sign and dirty clothes to give that impression. These people are using their “props” of sorts to propagate the idea that they are homeless and do need help, when in reality, they’re just deadbeats.

Hopefully this article has shone some light on homeless tactics and will make donators more aware of the propaganda tactics used by homeless people.

So you want to be a better blogger...

2006-09-16T12:15:00.000-07:00

Tough shit. Get a real job.

No, I'm kidding.

So apparently people aren't sure what they need to put up on their blogs to get an "A."

Seeing as how I've been receiving a lot of praise from the professor, I thought I would write an advice post. This isn't really because I want everyone to get a better grade; it’s more so when I do my weekly blog readings, I don't get bored as hell.

I'd like to start by saying when I do these blog readings, I look at every single blog in the class. I don't finish every single one, but I do look at all of them.

With a vast majority of the blogs, I'll read one or two sentences and then move onto the next one because those one or two sentences sound just like everybody else's blog.

For example, in the most recent blog assignment about the future of books, almost everyone in the class wrote something to the effect of, "I wouldn't want to read an eBook because staring at a computer screen for that long would make my eyes hurt," or "I want to be able to pass on books to my grandchildren."

Which brings me to my first point: Be original

Talking about how you want your grandchildren to read the books you love is sweet, but it’s boring. It's exactly what people expect to hear. I would estimate that 75% of the class said these phrases or something along those lines (myself included.) Shit, I couldn't read everyone one of those posts, so what grade do you expect if you write that in your blog and Professor Buchwitz reads it after reading 20 other blogs that say the same thing?

Now I'm not saying posting the same things as everyone else is wrong, but you could at least give it your own twist.

For example, I have a screwed up sense of humor, so here is how I would re-write the two lines I mentioned above.

Before: "I wouldn't want to read an eBook because staring at a computer screen for that long would make my eyes hurt"

After: "I would rather go into a diabetic coma than read fifty pages on a computer screen and possibly get eye cancer (it could happen, want to try to prove me wrong? Didn't think so.) Whoever thought up of the idea for ebooks should have their hands stuck in a wood chipper."

Before: "I want to be able to pass on books to my grandchildren."

After: "I want to be able to save my favorite hard-cover book for when I have grandchildren...and then beat them with it. Books truly are great instruments for beating your kids."

With each of those examples, I'm saying the same thing as everyone else, but putting my own twist on them, and even if you sick and disgusted by what I said, at least I'm getting a reaction out of you other than "Oh, that’s nice," (by the way, those are jokes, so don't take them seriously.)

Personally, I didn't go out to make a good blog. I just wrote what I honestly thought for that entry. The thought of books eventually going away seems retarded to me so I expressed it. I began with a very typical title (Will printed books go the way of the cassette tape and record?) and then gave it a twist by taking a "What are you, stupid?" tone with the first sentence.

I think my most valuable piece of advice is this: be honest with yourself.

Don't try to write what you think other people want to hear. If you are forcing an opinion out of yourself that isn't true, it will be obvious to the reader. If you don't give a shit about the subject, say so. For example, let’s say I wasn't an avid reader. I might say:

"Will the printed book eventually go out the door, yielding its right of way to electronic literature? Personally, I don't really give a shit. I don't read that often and when I do read it’s usually closed captioning of a porno because I don't want my roommates to hear and the last thing I need is someone looking over my shoulder while I'm charming the snake. The only books that I buy are textbooks for my classes and I don't even read those. So even if books went electronic, why would it matter? It’s the same information on a different medium that I won't read."

Disclaimer: That last paragraph is completely untrue; I just pulled it out of my ass.

A great example of being up front in this class is Jason Goldstein's post entitled, "Katie Couric.....Who Cares."

If you read his comments, you can see Prof. Buchwitz replied and encouraged him to state his opinion, and if that opinion is "Who Cares?" then so be it.

The last thing is pretty simple. Spellcheck it. Sometimes spellcheck won't find all errors (as pointed out by Kelly, in my last blog, but its better than nothing.

Thats enough of my preaching. If anyone else wants advice, feel free to comment/e-mail me. Or if you would like to point out how pretentious I am by posting an advice article on how to blog better, feel free to do that too.

Will printed books go the way of the cassette tape and record?

2006-09-13T22:59:00.000-07:00

No. What kind of question is that?

Of course books aren't going away. Books have withstood the test of time, what makes anyone think they're going any time soon? Consider this: there is a lot of new technology coming out and new ways to take in the information you can get from books already. There is the internet, ebooks, audio books, and several other forms of media. Sony even released a digital reader for ebooks. Despite this, print books are still around and going strong.

The Sony eBook Reader: Reading for Morons

Okay for those who still can't wrap their head around why books will stay despite these "advances" in form, think about the costs.

Yes, ebooks themselves are cheaper than you average books. For example, you can find an audio book version of The DaVinci Code at ebooks.com for $10.17, plus shipping.

But if you compare prices on Amazon.com, you can find that you can also get the same book in paperback, new, for $2.20, plus shipping. Even with the shipping, the book is cheaper on Amazon. And if you wish, you can buy a used copy for $0.70.

Now let’s take a look at the form.

A paperback book is completely portable. Whether you're going to the DMV to get your license renewed, or just enjoying a good book at home, you can bring your book. It is small, portable, and convenient.

Now consider ebooks. Unless you have a portable ebooks reader, essentially the only place you can read an ebook is on a computer screen. Bear in mind that the screen backlit, so there is light shining in your eyes constantly. Also consider that most backgrounds are white, so the full amount of light that is possible is shining into your eyes at all time. I don't know about anyone else but if I had to read a book like this, I would go batshit insane.

Now lets say you want a portable ebook reader so ebooks are portable and convenient, all is well right?
Wrong. Wrong.

In the same CNet article I linked to above about the Sony ebook Reader, it says retail for its reader is $299 to $399.

...

Fuck that. $300 minimum. MINIMUM. In order to have the convenience of a paperback book, you have to buy a 300 fucking dollar ebook reader. Let’s do the math.

$7 for an average ebook.

$11 for an average paperback book, if bought brand new.

There is a $4 difference.

$300 for an ebook reader.

How many times does $4 go into $300?

75

What does this all mean? It means that in order for an ebook reader to be worth the $300 dollars rather than just buying the paperback book, you would have to buy 75 ebooks, of which, you can't let a friend to borrow because they're too broke to afford an ebook reader. And you can't buy an ebook for a friend for a gift, unless you wanted to end your friendship (or at least I would.)

And this is with cheapest possible ebook reader and the most expensive possible paperback book on Amazon. It’s a no contest.

Now compare it to music media. Why did compact discs replace records, 8 tracks, and cassette tapes?

Why Cassette tapes and 8 Tracks?
Cassette tapes and 8 tracks were fucking expensive to manufacture. Take CDs now which can be bought for $0.30 by the public and even less by CD manufacturing companies.

Why Records?
Convenience. You can't play a record in a car. Durability. It’s a lot easier to shatter a record or even scratch it than it is to damage a CD. And again, costs.

Unlike CDs, all "advances," in the form of books aren't really advances at all. Advances make things easier, better, cheaper. All that ebooks and ebook readers are doing to books is making them electronic, which isn't an advancement at all. If some made a tire for a car out of steel rather than rubber, they're not making an advancement in the car industry. They're being a dumbass. Just because a tire is made out of a material that is sturdier doesn't mean that it will suit the purpose the tire is made for. Same thing goes for ebooks. They don't suit any purpose other than for people to say "Look, I was stupid enough to buy an ebook!"

It should be made a law that anyone with an ebook reader should have their ass kicked on basic principle.

The Evolution of the Music Industry

2006-09-11T15:11:00.000-07:00

In his most recent entry, classmate Stephen Lodigiani described a new sort of way to run the music business. He described it much like the way major league baseball has "farm leagues," in order to get their players good enough to play in the majors. While playing in these farm leagues, players often have day jobs, and if they are good enough at the sport, they move on to the major league and are able to live off playing baseball. Stephen proposed that we start a system much like that with bands and their record companies.

Personally, I'm not familiar with baseball, but what Stephen describe sounds exactly like something that already exists in the music world, as far as the rock genre goes.

I know smaller independent labels exist now and do exactly what he described. Bands release their music, and because the independent labels have lower production costs and pay the artists less money, the members of the band often have day jobs. Then, talented bands that have a strong following and strong record sales despite the low amount of money spent on promotion, are signed to record labels.

Here is of list of fairly popular, mainstream bands that exist now that originally made a name for themselves on independent labels. Bear in mind these are only the ones I'm familiar with:

-AFI (Originally on Nitro Records, then moved on to Dreamworks/Interscope)
-Death Cab for Cutie (Originally on Barsuk Records, then moved on to Atlantic)
-Fall Out Boy (Originally on Fueled By Ramen Records, then moved on to Island Def Jam)
-My Chemical Romance (Originally on Eyeball Records, then moved on to Warner)
-Rise Against (Originally on Fat Wreck Chords, then moved on to Geffen)
-Avenged Sevenfold (Originally on Hopeless Records, then moved on to Warner)
-Taking Back Sunday (Originally on Victory Records, then moved on to Warner)

Although these bands are no where the status of pop stars or boy bands, they have enough of a cult following and welcoming new fans as a result of moving to a major label to provide record companies with a decent chunk of money.

I am not familiar with record labels with in the rap genre, I see that there are many smaller record labels within the rap/hip-hop community and I would not be surprised if the same thing is going on there.

The music business is going through a natural evolution that many record labels have never thought of. Soon I believe that major record labels with be dominated by artists and bands that have already established themselves on a smaller label and hence have demonstrated to record labels that they are worth the money spent on promoting them. Due to the saturation of talented artists that are growing every day, I believe that record companies will stray away from having one or two artists that provide for a majority of their profits. Rather, I believe the future of the music business will have several bands and artists that each have a strong core following and each will bring in a high, but not exorbitant, profit for record companies.

This system follows a practically identical system as described in the baseball analogy, and I think Stephen's analysis is dead on for the music industry.

Paris Hilton gets Pimp-slapped

2006-09-06T16:41:00.000-07:00

For those who don't know who DJ Danger Mouse is, I think it can be safely said that he is one of the greatest minds in hip-hop today. If you haven't heard of him personally, odds are you've heard one of his projects. He produced the Demon Days album for the Gorillaz, is one half of the r&b/hip-hop/alternative group, Gnarls Barkley, and was the mastermind behind the mash up of Jay-Z's Black Album and The Beatles' White Album, dubbed the Grey Album, which since has been banned from being produced by the Beatles' record company (but can still be easily found on the Internet, just Google it.)

Danger Mouse's Grey Album

On DM's latest project, I heard that he worked with an individual named Banksy. Curious to who this was, I did some research, and found that Banksy is a British Graffiti artist who refuses to reveal his/her real name. Most of his/her work that can be viewed on his website usually has a message behind it encouraging social change.

An example of Banksy's work

He/She made headlines with his intricate graffiti as well as posting his/her own pieces of art in famous art museums such as the Museum of Modern Art in New York, the Tate Museum in Britain, and the Louvre in Paris, France. Some of his/her exploits can be viewed here.

Two brilliant artists came together to work on an original and questionable project. What project you may ask?

In a way, they figuratively slapped Paris Hilton upside the head.

According to an article in SPIN magazine, the two obtained 500 copies of Paris Hilton's recently released music CD and reworked the artwork (a la Banksy) as well as recording remixed versions of her songs (a la Danger Mouse) on the new CD. The cover featured an edited Paris Hilton with breasts exposed. The Liner notes included phrases such as, "Every CD You Buy Puts Me Even Further Out of Your League" and the names of the songs were changed to phrases like, "Why Am I Famous?," and "What Have I Done?"

500 copies of the edited compact discs were then redistributed to assorted Virgin music stores and other independent music stores.

In a time where where it is rare to find anything original, let alone something original with a message, two artists found a way to spread their biting social commentary on our society's obsession with celebrities as well as criticizing the music industry.

Personally, this is something that I have been hearing from my friends and people I know since Paris Hilton became famous for her sex tape, but it is amazing to me that two people would speak out against such an injustice (if you don't consider Paris Hilton releasing a music record an injustice, you should stop listening to music,) in such a big way. Hopefully this project will encourage those who might be thinking of getting the new Paris Hilton record, not to waste their money on garbage meant to make a spoiled rich girl who can't sing even more spoiled.

The complete set of unedited art work can be seen here. (NSFW)

A video of how it was done can be found on YouTube, here. (NSFW)

File sharing is not limited to napster

2006-09-05T00:26:00.000-07:00

Fellow classmate Brooke Carpenter mentioned in her blog that she would not have heard of many of the bands she listens to if it weren't for file sharing. This got me to thinking, that many of the bands I listen to and the genres I listen to were highly influenced by file sharing early in my music listening days (which includes artists such as Stray Cats and Cat Stevens.) Because of the sites like the now hugely renovated mp3.com, many people were able to streams and download up and coming songs at the artists discrescion. This provided ways for listeners to find music, usually according to genre. Hence, many bands from a certain genre could advance. I belive that this is part of the reason many of the alernative bands currently in the mainstream (such as My Chemical Romance, Taking Back Sunday, and others,) would not have the commercial sucess that they have now, if it weren't for getting their music out using the internet. Even more mainstream bands such as Linkin Park have cited sharing of their music though the internet helped to create a sizeable fanbase, and got their debut album, hybrid theory, to debut in (I believe) the top 20 on the Billboard Music Charts.

Also, even though music is essentially what an artist creates, as far as buisness goes, it is not the only source of income for a musician. There is also merchandising and concerts. If a person likes a band to that extent, they would probably spend the money on concerts and merchandise from a band or artist, even if they never have purchased an actual form of media containing their music (compact disc, cassette tape, mp3, etc.)

My main point of all this is that no matter how a person may obtain an album, the fact that an artists' name and their art is being exposed, they will gain income. Even if all the copies of an artist's cd are burned and given from person to person, there are still ways for a musician to make money.

Steve Irwin: February 22, 1962 – September 4, 2006

2006-09-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

A tribute to the a great man in American history (even though he was Australian.)

Through the media, Steve Irwin, otherwise known as the Crocodile Hunter, brought the world joy by providing us with Australian stereotypes beyond all imagination. Seriously though, he brought about energy and happiness that could not be matched by anything else one television. Probably one of the major reasons for the creation of the channel Animal Planet (in my opinion,) Steven Irwin was an iconic figure that brought excitement and a certain degree of happiness to me as a child that could not be satisfied by mindless cartoons. Although seen more as a novelty by most people, he was truly great and unique with a personality completely his own. He will be survived by his wife, two childern, and his cat Fluffy.

RIP Steve Irwin, you will be missed.

The Sydney Morning Herald: Steve Irwin Killed by Stingray

American media sucks (inspired by Maddox)

2006-08-31T00:54:00.000-07:00

This is John Karr. He confessed to the JonBenét Ramsey murder case that happened in December of 1996. Karr reportedly was obsessed with the JonBenét murdercase years back, and claimed to have been with Ramsey when she was murdered. He also went on to describe the murder as "an accident," despite the fact that she was reportedly stranged and had a skull fracture. As of August 28th, the charges against Karr were dropped and Karr was offically dubbed a false confessor.

News Flash:

NO SHIT

Any douchebag with half a brain could figure that out. This story propels the American News media from "mildly retarded" to "not worth wiping my cat's (Fluffy's) ass with." Of all the things going on in the world today; the Hezbollah-Isreali conflict, the complete failure of the re-buliding of Iraq, the increasing defiance of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the Bush Administration's complete incompetence in dealing with the preceeding; out of all of those stories, some asshole make a confession which sounds completely unrealistic given the premises, made top story for a week and was printed on the front page of newspapers. What amazes me is that it wasn't even a slow news day. There is so much going on in the world right now, as metioned before, yet this one was deemed most important by almost all major news sources.
This guy, who was obviously a false confessor, made top story, as tens of hundereds of people die in the middle east (including American soldiers, and Lebenese, Iraqi, and Isreali citizens.)

Furthermore, John Karr associated items are going on sale on e-bay. Also, John Karr has been supposedly quoted as wanting Johnny Depp to portray him in a movie about the JonBenét murder case (I could not confirm the latter with a major news source.)

Granted that this case is important to those involved in the case, and that it is absolutely dispicable when a child's life is taken in such a disgusting way, but the fact that this took priority over issues in the middle east, and stories on a much grander scale is my problem. Problems that actually effect us took second place to a ten year old issue that played on our emotions, and turned out to not matter at all.

Shit like this is why I watch the Daily Show so much.

This doesn't sound forced

2006-08-31T00:47:00.000-07:00

Apparently I'm supposed to talk about what kind of media consumer I am.

If anything, I spend the most time on the computer. I do spend alot of time online, but in the grand scheme of my computer time, its not that much. Probably a couple hours a day. I do use my computer for a variety of purposes. I play music, dvds, playe games, etc. on it. The second most is television. I probably spend about three hourse a day watching actual TV (not dvds.) That usually reserved for the Daily Show and the Colbert Report. I probably would watch more but I don't have time due to work and school, school during the week and work on the weekends, sometimes they overlap.

I used to not be a avid reader, but I've been reading alot more lately. Mostly comedy and satire. Currently I'm reading A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole I would say I spend at least 2 hours a day reading for recreation. I spend about 15 minutes a day reading for school. I don't really read my textbooks (what kind of college student would I be if I did?)

I read news papers on occasion, but not on a regular basis. Probably a hour a week. I know, weak week.

I listen to music almost constantly. I would say at least 7 or 8 hours a day. Anytime I'm not watching a movie on my computer, anytime I'm in my room, while I'm reading, while I'm on the bus to/from school. In the halls at school. I've tried to get away with it while in class, but I got caught.

Yeah, I think I spend more than the average person consuming media. I should probably get a life.

"Whats going on eh?"

2006-08-27T01:56:00.000-07:00

I was going to write how other people's blogs seem really forced, but instead, at the suggestion of my little brother, I'll write about how much my blog sucks.

First of all, all my little tid-bits, such as my pictures and quotes, suck. They don't have anything to do with what I write about. Another thing, I don't write about anything important. This class is supposed to about media! Here I am writing about authors who are drunken sex fiends and talking about my new favorite music CDs. WTF mate? I link to stupid sites where they say "All your base are belong to us!" for ten minutes. What that hell does that mean anyways? Fluffy is an awesome cat. Look at all my posts in the past! They're way too long! This assignment was only supposed to be 200 words per entry, and I'm rambling on like some mental patient with ADHD. I'm surprised that anybody can tolerate my idiocy. If I wasn't me and had my way, I would lob me into an active volcano, and not one of those shitty ones like Mount St. Helens. Fuck that place. It’s Mount Kilimanjaro for my condemned ass! Screw Flanders.

"You are blind because you masturbated too much as a child"

2006-08-27T01:04:00.000-07:00

Pic of the Entry:

Quote of the Entry:

"My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disreguard social norms, indulge at every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world."

-Tucker Max

First and foremost, I decided to change the format of my blog, because half the people in the class have the same one.

Anyways, I'm bored as hell so I thought I would post another blog for class.
I decided to write this entry about the book I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, by Tucker Max. This book is one that has truly inspired me--

Lets get one thing out of the way. I'm nothing like Tucker Max. I would never engage in the type of activites he engages in and would never treat people the way he does. If anything, I try to be as nice as possible to all people I come in contact with as well as trying to be the best person I can be. As far as my habits go, if you must generalize, you could say I'm straight-edge (although I don't like to call myself it based on the social connotations that come with the term.)

Back to the book.

Tucker Max, who has become famous by his tales of drunken debachery have made him an internet celebrity. His unrelenting use and balance of both with and toilet humor have made him a writer un-matched in hilarity. In almost every story, Max refuses to abide by politically correct standards and persists to touch on issues that most of us would never dream of. This is easily demonstrated by the titles of his stories, which include the likes of, "Tucker tries buttsex: hilarity does not ensue," and "The Pee Blame."

A excerpt taken from "The Austin Road Trip":

"After that little fiasco, we head across the street to a dueling piano bar. We discover that one of the two piano players is blind. We are basically jackals on two legs, so true to our nature, we focus on the weak one.

We must have given him about 20 notes with songs titles on them. Finally, the blind piano player stopped his music and said, 'HEY IDIOTS! Stop giving me song suggestions. I AM BLIND! BLIND! I CAN'T READ THEM!'

One of the helpers came over and took the song suggestions over to the piano player who could see, and he broke out laughing so hard that he couldn't even keep playing. He kinda stopped the music and into his mike,

'Well I would to play these songs, but unfortunately I don't know any of them. Let's see if you know them Phil. They are:

-Please Kill Yourself
-Isn't Ray Charles supposed to be black?
-I'm gonna steal your wallet because you can't see who I am
-Have you ever fucked a goat by accident?
-You are blind because you masturbated too much as a child
-I'm gonna set your hair on fire
-Come to the bathroom so I can fellate you
-I bet you fuck ugly girls because you can't see their faces
-I pissed on your shoes when you were at the urinal

And so on. Phil, you know any of these? I'm stumped.'

It was awesome. The irony of was that while most of the crowd was aghast, the blind guy was laughing his ass off right along with us. I guess crippled people can be useful sometimes."

For those who enjoy the sense of humor Max displays will be moved to tears of laughter throughout the book. What is even more amazing is that Max has a policy of only telling true stories.

At this point, all this information would be enough for some, but not for myself. For I have found that under the stories of explicit sex acts and ridiculing of the less fortunate lies a deeper message that has been become cliche in our day and age: Live the way you wish to live no matter what anyone else thinks.

Tucker Max is an excellent example of this. He shows that by living the way he would like rather than following the standards of those around him, he lives a truly fufilling life, which has landed him a book deal as well as several other side projects.

Personally, Tucker Max's stories retaught that lesson, and that is why I see him as a hero rather than a disgusting human being. The only issue that I take with Mr. Max is that he never writes about his cat. Perhaps if his cat was as cute as Fluffy, his stories might be much more pleasant.

"Who needs courage when you have a gun?"

2006-08-24T16:15:00.000-07:00

My Mission Statement:
I want to have as much fun with this blog as I can, so I'll add as many tidbits as I can. I hope you have as much fun reading this blog as I have writing it.

Quote of this Entry:
From Futurama episode The Cryonic Woman

Fry: So you're saying these aren't the decaying ruins of New New York in the year 4000?

Farnsworth: You wish! You're in Los Angeles.

Fry: But there was this gang of ten year olds with guns!

Leela: Exactly, you're in LA.

Fry: But everyone is driving around in cars shooting at each other!

Bender: That's LA for ya!

Fry: But the air is green and there is no sign of civilization what so ever!

Bender: He just won't stop with the social commentary...

Fry: And the people are all phonies, no-one reads, everything has cilantro on it...

Picture of the Entry:
This Image Originally Appears on The Best Page in the Universe

Welcome to my first blog for my mcom72 class at San Jose State.

When I first learned that our class would focus on creating and maintaining our own blog, I practically exploded in my pants. My first thought was, "I really need to clean this up before someone notices." And then I thought, "Holy crap, normally I just blog because I'm as bored as hell, but now I'm getting graded for it! This is going to rock my balls off! The only thing that could beat this is "Lo Pan running around ruining everyones' shit and spiking midgets off the ground." Needless to say, I'm quite excited about this class.

Now seeing as how this blog must focus on different forms of media, I'll choose some things I bought recently, which include:
-CD: The Best of Simon and Garfunkle
-CD: Creedence Clearwater Revival; Chronicle Vol. 1
-DVD: Conan O'Brein presents The Best of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

I'll write my opinion each below:

The Best of Simon and Garfunkle
Lately, I've wanted to listen to music that is a bit more folky, so I turned to the godfathers of elitist folkies, Simon and Garfunkle. I haven't listened to this CD as much as my other two purchases, but I'm happy with it. The music is very relaxing and great when I don't feel like kicking kittens in their sleep. I know they are supposed to be brilliant singer-songwriters, but I can't say that I appreciate their lyrics as much as their bigger fans do. I feel that will come with time, but for now, I'll be content with putting this CD on while relaxing.

Creedence Clearwater Revival
This CD is freaking awesome. CCR were one of the hundreds of bands on my "list of bands I need to get a CD from," for the longest time and I finally got one. This is probably one of the best American bands ever. Even if you haven't heard of Creedence, I can almost guarantee that you've heard one of their songs. Classics songs like "Suzie-Q," "Proud Mary," "Down on the Corner," and their cover of "I Heard It Through the Grapevine," are featured on this CD. Odds are if you've seen a really good movie (Such as Forrest Gump or The Big Lebowski), you've heard Creedence on their soundtrack. This CD is thoroughly enjoyable from beginning to end, and would be a great buy if you are the least bit interested in classic rock. My rating: It rocks 10 socks out of 10.

The Best of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog
Robert Smigle writes the jokes and is also the puppeteer for Triumph. I consider him a comic genius. He is also behind Saturday Night Live's TV Funhouse where he has created such memorable sketches such as The Ambiguously Gay Duo, The X-Presidents, and Bambi 2002. Needless to say, Smigle never fails to deliver when it comes to comedy. This is one of the few this where, as a result of watching, I will be doubled over in laughter. Whether it comes to his infamous visits to The Westminster Dog Show, humping everything in sight, or calling a Star Wars fan attending the premier of Star Wars: Episode II, that spoiler that he is going to die alone, Triumph character demonstrates consistently hilarious comedy and wit that is rarely seen in comedies these days. I would recommend this to anyone who isn't easily offended by either offensive or toilet humor.

Seeing as how I've been writing for an hour now, I think I'll conclude my blog. I could go on forever, but I need my limits. But before I conclude this blog, here are some potential subjects of future blog entries:
-Why iPods are Overrated
-Futurama should have been brought back instead of Family Guy
-The Bush Administration is a massive propaganda machine
-The Daily Show is the best show ever
-Fluffy is the best cat ever
-Why music is cool and everyone should listen to what I listen to
-Tucker Max is a genius
-Loveline is an awesome radio show
-Cartoons that they should release on DVD so I can be happy
-My heros and how they suceeded through the internet

Yours Truly,
Amir

P.S. - Chevy Chase is a giant douche